Today I Turn 18…no longer a Dancing Queen?
(Note: this post is A Hot Mess. I apologize. Yes, I could probably edit it a bit and make it look nicer, but honestly, I think it’s best just the way it is. This is me at 18, imperfections and all!)
Dear Past Ari,
Congrats! You will live to be 18 years of Earthly age, and you may not be in college, but you end up in a pretty good place.
Dear Future Ari,
Congrats! You made it past 18 years of Earthly age, to adulthood (in the most basic definition of the word, you are by no means not still a child in some sense).
To either my past or my future, I just wanted to write to myself, seeing as this is a milestone and all. I mean, how many times in your life do you turn 18, become a legal adult, you know, all that good stuff? Once. Once in your life. So, without further ado, a list of things I want to tell myself, to remember, be it past, present or future:
- All those corny sayings, quotes, bits of advice on the internet? At some point, they are probably true. At least try to listen to them.
- Those problems that look to be so dreadful when they are happening? Yeah, you get through them.
- You have the coolest mom ever. I know you sometimes didn’t think so when we were younger, but you come to realize this.
- You may not get everything you want when you want it, but the things you need and truly wish for will come at some time, in some way.
- Just because the US decides to recognize you as an adult legally from now on, does not mean you cannot let your inner child survive.
- People aren’t judging you as much as you think they are. Just do you.
- Things only happen if you make them happen. Sometimes it may seem like things just come to you, but that just means that you’re doing something else to attract it indirectly.
Well……….I tried writing one of those lists to myself, or one of those letters to myself. It didn’t really work out the way I wanted it to. I have too many things to say, and then they all bundle together until the words in my head come to the front of my mind looking like a blank sheet of paper.
I just want to say this: I hereby pledge to never grow up. Now, I certainly will grow older, that in itself is a guarantee of life. Perhaps the words of others will serve better purpose than my own to get my meaning across:
“We never really grow up, we just learn how to act in public.” -Bryan White
“You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” -Robin Williams
“The creative adult is the child who survived” -Ursula K. Le Guin
Okay, so you get my feeling. It’s not growing older I fear, it’s growing up. For more beautifully written words on the subject (because it would take forever to put all the wonderful written words here, and the images are nice too), look no further than my own Pinterest board, labeled Peter Pan Syndrome.
You all know that song by ABBA, “Dancing Queen”, right? (If you haven’t, go to youtube and listen to it. Yes, right now.) The lyrics are, “Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only 17…” …and so on. It’s only for one year in my life that this song could (literally) apply to me, so of course I was excited, since I am a dancer. For me, 17 was a truly great year, thanks in no small part to my BOOM trainee girls in my dance company. This year, I turn 18, everything in my life is completely different, and I was a little sad to no longer be “the dancing queen”. Or so I thought. After posting my sentiments to Facebook and saying farewell to my reigning year, I got a couple of lovely responses that made me feel better:
“Have a very happy birthday! You may not be 17 anymore, but you’re still the dancing queen!”
“happy birthday, i hope it’s fantastic (furthermore: just because you’re no longer seventeen doesnt mean you arent the dancing queen, it just means you have seniority)! 💙”
“Once a Queen, always a Queen!”
So, I suppose I am still a Dancing Queen at heart then! All in all, I’m having a very happy birthday, and I just want to say I have some awesome friends and family. They all really make me happy.
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Ballerina-to-Be, or simply, Ari
P.S.: Saw a rainbow on my way home from cold stone today (chocolate cake batter birthday cake remix, yes!), it was as if it was saying, you’ve lived eighteen years of life and that’s a beautiful thing. Warm fuzzies inside and all that good stuff, a smile, a moment of peace and contentment.